These Truths I Hold to be Self-Evident

Samantha Stevens was sexier, smarter and cooler than Jeannie. I know some men (and women) got all excited over Jeannie’s wardrobe and the fact that she called her boyfriend “Master,” but she never once did a thing he asked her to, she constantly got him in trouble at work, and if he got her mad she’d send him to Siberia, or stick him in pickle jar or something.

Samantha dressed better, threw great cocktail parties, and while it’s true she didn’t listen to Darrin any more than Jeannie listened to Major Nelson, she always pulled his fat out of the fire and let him take credit for it. That sounds like a good life-mate to me, someone who doesn’t rub your nose in the fact that you’d be lost without them.  He knew and she knew he knew–that was enough.

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The people who appear on HGTV need a reality check. Have you seen these prospective homeowners and remodel-ers as they walk through a house that is far nicer than the dump they are currently living in, yet criticize paint colors (pick up a gallon of Navajo White you idiot) and furniture, and call everything “dated.”

Uh, huh, you are living in an apartment with a futon, artwork that belongs in a dorm and a wrought iron wine rack filled with two-buck-Chuck, and you have the nerve to criticize someone for not having stainless steel appliances and granite counters (both highly overrated in the land of Cat Boy).

They seem to want a house that is not only move-in ready down to the correct paint colors in the children’s rooms, but with crown molding, and kitchen counters that cost seventy-five dollars a square foot. Of course I enjoy it in my own way. I keep thinking of twenty years from now when someone walks through that house and says “That’s going to have to go–granite is so 2001.”

In this same general area, why do people insist on buying an old house because they love its character and then rip out everything that gave it that character?  Michelle is quickly becoming one of my heroes as someone does not do this.

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Currently being read on Stuff White People Like is an entry on correcting the grammar on restaurant menus. Pretentious or not, I think using grammar correctly is something we should all aspire to. There are nights (this is absolutely true) I wake up convinced I have added an apostrophe where one did not belong or used a semi-colon where I should have used a double em-dash on this blog and I go back to sleep repeating a mantra to myself to check it in the morning.

Anytime I use incorrect grammar, feel free to point it out to me; I’ll sleep better at night.

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